Are You an Eeyore?

I used to be an Eeyore. Not quite so bad, but enough so it felt uncomfortable. At the meeting last weekend, the leader said this: "Sometimes I complain, but that no longer feels good. I used to love that shit." I wrote it in my notebook I take to the meetings, so I can write these gems down and ponder them later. I got tired of complaining, too. Tired of being critical and judgmental and that all changed once I began my journey of sobriety.

For me, complaining means I am not accepting what is going on with other people, places or things. A lovely woman told me at yesterday's meeting that she is worried about her brother because he is the sole supporter of his two children and he is involved with a woman that is just not good for him. She complained that he has had these unhealthy relationships before. But, she added, he seems happy. Byron Katie says there are only three kinds of business: yours, mine and God's. God's business is weather, earthquakes, situations outside of human control. Like the earthquake some of us felt last night. God's business. And when we are in others' business or God's business then we suffer. Maybe anxiety, annoyance, frustration or worse.

Here's a quote I got from somewhere: "In that situation when you were upset with him/her, was it him/her that upset you or what you were thinking about him/her that upset you?"

That really speaks to me. I recently got upset when a relative said something, but right away, I could ask myself, Patricia, why does that bother you? Well, she should not have said that. No, she should have said it because she did, and it's a learning opportunity for me to look at what I am thinking, be in acceptance and let go with love and compassion for her and me. That's the basic principle of AA spirituality. It doesn't mean we have to have relationships with people who don't value kindness, but we withdraw from the relationship with love.

It always goes back to what we are thinking and believing. I will sign off with this quote from Sam Harris. "Even for extraordinarily lucky people, life is difficult and when we look at what makes it difficult we see that we are all prisoners of our thoughts. Pay attention to this. Your relationship to thought will almost entirely determine the quality of your life, and it will also determine how much value you can add to the lives of others."

I am committed to having a high quality of life and to add value to the lives of everyone. It just feels so good. Eeyore never understood that.